Winning By Losing

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Well I’m sorry my dear friends for being absent for so long. These last two months have been a whirlwind of activity. I gained a newborn cousin through adoption, I started seeing an awesome trainer, and accomplished some goals along the way. I got in to grad school University College of London and in September I’ll be moving to London! I’ll be studying advanced respiratory therapy with an emphasis in pediatrics. My amazing boyfriend lives two hours north so it will be nice to see him frequently. That’s right…. Amisha has a boyfriend 🙂

So, first and foremost, I’ve lost 62.5 pounds so far!!! I’m trying to lose the remaining 7.5 before the end of the month to get to 245. and mark off a challenge from my fitness support group! Definitely feasible at this point. Starting tomorrow, things will be very strict on my diet and I’m hoping it will get me back on track. For the whole month of March I stayed at 259. It was trying on me to say the least. Then again, when you’re trying to stay active five days a week, I was gaining some muscle mass. I could tell I was slimming down though and feeling like a celebrity in the mix. I’ve lost 28 inches overall. I’ll have a better estimate on my final weigh in at the end of the month. I have a squat and thigh challenge that I’m going to do next month. Hoping that will help take me down another pant size. Speaking of pant sizes, I’m currently sitting in my new jeans that are a size 18. Read that and weep size 26 jeans I bought 6 months ago. I do have a story that I’d like to share about this awesomely sad moment.

Tuesday I had a gift card for Target that I needed to spend since I was close to one for a change. As I grabbed a pair of jeans that were a size 20, I headed to the fitting room expecting them to fit just right. Slipped them on and lo and behold, they were actual a little loose and being stretchy material decided to try an 18. I have not been a size 18 since I was in high school! I couldn’t believe it. I wanted to scream for joy! However, what happened next might surprise some, I cried silently. Not because I had just conquered some of my bulge but because I heard a girl no older than 12 crying to her mother in the next fitting room. Here I’m celebrating a small victory yet this little girl is doubting her self worth. She was trying on shorts for the summer and each pair that  didn’t fit produced another sob followed by “It’s because I’m fat!” I wanted to hug this little girl because she didn’t know her beauty, she didn’t know that she’s about to hit puberty and sprout in to something she’ll proud of one day, she was me at that age. I cried because my heart was breaking for girls all over that feel this way. I think what hurt the most was that her mother never once encouraged her. There was never one consoling word that came from her mouth. How am I suppose to celebrate when my mini me was just starting to face her demons? I walked away from that fitting room depressed and mad with myself. I wish I had had the guts to boldly walk up to that little girl and tell her she was beautiful and loved, that it gets better, that the challenges she faces over the next few years can either change her and make her strong, or destroy her happiness. Next time, I will pass on my pearl of beauty and make sure that seed of inner beauty is planted. Next time I will be changed.

The Plateau had reached its end!

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Sooooo, as you can see, I haven’t posted in two weeks. Yes, I’m a horrible blogger at this point but I’m trying to stay on top of it. So let’s recap:

The last two weeks I’ve been in a frustrating, dreaded, any losers worst nightmare, PLATEAU. In fact, I gained 3 pounds. I wanted to throw things! Given, I started on more solid foods so I knew things would slow down, but not stop all together! Believe me, it left me in a dark place. So dark, I wanted to eat all the terrible foods I wasn’t allowed. It’s like that terrible breakup you have, and you may have given up things to be in that relationship, and then turn right back to them when it’s said and done. I wanted FOOD, and I wanted it NOW! However, I said no. I said no because I’ve gone too far to turn back now. I said no because I like the way my new body is making me feel, the energy, the self love. I said no because I want to look and feel my best. This is my life and no piece of chocolate chip, chocolate drizzled cheesecake is going to dictate it when I should feel good. 

So here’s what I did… I fought. I emailed my nutritionist from the clinic. She set me on a strict diet for 14 days. She said no cheating and NO peaking at the scale. (Yes, I broke that rule today since you guys deserved an update, but next week there won’t be a weigh in!) She said to let her know what the scale says then. I also started working out more. I went to the gym on Monday and did 7 miles of cardio with a combination of treadmill, bike, and track. It only took me 58 minutes, which I was pretty proud of. Tuesday I had my consult with a personal trainer and walked the track as well for 20 minutes. On Wednesday, I tried something very new with Yoga. I’m not into the inner peace blah, blah, blah stuff but for stretching and such, it was awesome. I still feel it in my muscles today. Then I went to gym for an hour after that to do another 6 miles. It felt good to be out and moving this week. Yesterday I was iced in (Thank you Winter Storm Q) and today was a similar situation. Although, I may take to the stairs today. 

The personal trainer took my measurements and I’ve lost a total of about 14-15 inches all over since January 23rd. I’ll have a more exact reading on Monday when she gives me a copy of them! 

In other news…. there’s a boy these days. I won’t go in to details just yet but let’s just say, it’s pretty darn amazing. You know it might be something good when he understands that I had weight loss surgery and what my actual weight was before I started losing and still likes me. I have never told a significant other those numbers and for some reason, I felt that honesty would be the best policy. So far, it has been 🙂 There will be more to come I believe with this love story….

Weigh Day!!!!

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That time of the week: weigh day!!! Like I had mentioned earlier this week, I thought I’d miss my mark by a bit and I did so I wasn’t too disappointed. I weighed in and have lost a total of 46.7 lbs! A little over 3 lbs from my 50 lb goal but I’m sure come Monday, I’ll be right on target! Happy 1 Month PostOp to me!

Next goal: 20 lbs by March 8th. In possibly a month, I could be down 70lbs! It’s incredible to see where I was in December and where I am now.

I know I can’t expect results like I saw from the last month, but I can expect to see results every day from here on out!!!

The Full Effect

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Okay, so let me let you in on a little secret. When they tell you, you will be full, YOU WILL BE FULL! Since I started soft foods this week, I’ve mixed in some chicken as well and made sure to chew really well! So well, you’d think I was feeding baby birds momentarily. Anyways, today, on my one day off a week, my grandma and I went out to lunch like we usually do. Mexican it was… and it was soooooo good. So good in fact, I literally ate 2 bites too many. I figured out my full effect today. It was somewhere between “I’m satisfied” and “I might puke that last bite up”. Yeah, not a fun thought to think about when I realized said food would be Mexican food coming back up. I did all the things they taught me at the center… walking around, taking a small sip of water every few minutes, and eventually I didn’t feel so bad. Just bad enough to never do it again! 🙂 My dear children, the stomach is a delicate and resilient thing. If you listen, it will tell you when it’s done. I found my voice today!

And since I’m telling on myself, I should let you know how NOT perfect I am on this whole diet. I’ve been very strict up until today. Anyone that actually knows me, knows that the Holy Grail of shakes, The Shamrock Shake, is my all time favorite food group. (Yes, it deserves its own group!) So today, going through the drive thru with my grandma, she got her Dr. Pepper, I got my unsweet tea, and I broke down. I ordered a small Shamrock Shake. I did something I’ve never done before though, I asked how many ounces were in something. It’s funny how engrained the idea of how many ounces you can eat as a bariatric patient comes naturally now. (if you were curious, a small drink, shake, etc… is 12 oz) So I decided I would only drink 1/4 of the thing. The green gold was handed over and I was in heaven…. for about 30 minutes. Then the pain and nausea came. Long story short, my workout didn’t happen as planned tonight because I’ve been nursing an upset stomach. Guess there always has to be a day of recourse. Today was mine. I’m staying away from the sweets and sticking to the things I know (protein, protein, PROTEIN!)

Still sitting at 269.1 but I have a feeling if I weigh tomorrow, the scale won’t be too kind to me. I’m definitely holding out to my actual weigh day on Friday. I have a feeling I won’t hit 50 lbs right on the dot, but I’m thinking I can get within 2-3 lbs. I’m sure by Monday I’ll be down 50 and my nails and eyebrows will love me for it (they are getting treated as my treat to myself)!

Catch you all on the flip side! Update on Friday!

Celebration!

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Soooo I’ve been feeling pretty good the last few days with soft foods and decided to weigh myself to see how it was effecting my weight loss. Given, I’ve stayed on the protein train, but I still wanted a general idea of how hard I needed to start working out.

I stepped on the scale to a grand surprise today. I BROKE into the 260s today!!! I haven’t been in the 260s for almost 4 years! So as it stands, I was 312.8 when I started this shin dig on December 24th and weighed in at 269.1 today!

Maybe I’ll treat myself to something special today…. Teriyaki salmon anyone?? 🙂

A several weeks overdue… surgery, post op, and life beyond!

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So as of today, I am a 3 weeks post op of my gastric plication surgery. I know, I know, I neglected you all in knowing what was going on. So let’s play the timeline game:

Monday 1/7/13: I woke up early and went to work for a couple of hours. Yes, I worked the day I flew out… I was too gosh darn excited to sleep. Might as well do something useful with my time. My mom met me there and we headed to St. Louis to catch our flight. We flew out around 2:20pm, landed in Denver, flew to San Diego and landed there around 6:20pm. And then we waited…..waited….and then FINALLLLLLY our shuttle picked us up from Dr. Ortiz’s office. He got stuck at the border. We made it to the Marriott hotel in about 25 minutes after getting the green light coming over the border. It was GORGEOUS! Walked up and checked right in. I felt like I hadn’t had enough fluids so I ordered my chicken broth that came with my package through the OCC and some bottled water and got to bed early!

Tuesday 1/8/13: Surgery day!! Had to be up and ready to go by 6:40am. They shuttled us over to the office with 3 other patients. 2 people from Texas and 1 from South Carolina. I was the youngest! (Glad I’m getting this over with early!) When we got there, signed some paper work and talked to the nutritionist about my new diet and a pre-op weigh in, a cardiologist, and got my blood drawn. Everything went smooth and I was getting dressed for surgery by 9am. Of course, the next hour was a bit hazy 😀 Dr. Ortiz performed his magic and I was out after about an hour. Into my room and slept for a bit. Dr. Ortiz came in a talked to me for a few minutes to let my mom know how everything went but I was still out of it. Around 1230pm, I was able to get up and walk around and down the hall. That’s right… 2 hours post surgery and I was walking! I did have some stomach cramping from the air they put in my stomach.The rest of night was uneventful and slept alright minus having to get up and walk.

Wednesday 1/9/13: Discharge day! Kind of. So I did a fluoroscopy test to make sure everything was flowing ok and it was. Dr. Ortiz came and talked to me and must say… REALLY like the man. He’s funny and easy going but straightforward. I was able to talk to him about my fears with the surgery and even about surgery for my dad. We left the hospital and walked around Tijuana. Did some exploring at the casino Caliente and saw some pink flamingos. Yep, I took a picture for my bestie Nicki because I’ve only ever seen them in a zoo! We also walked to Wal-Mart since we were on the go and it was getting cold. Side note: It never got over 54 degrees the whole time we were there! We went back to our hotel and I actually crawled in to bed. Before I went to bed though, I was feeling a bit full and decided to walk around the hallways. I’m sure the security guys had a good time watching the crazy white girl walk circles around the tower. When I finally laid down, I was still not feeling fantastic but I was able to go to sleep. A couple of hours later though, I woke up to throw up. Yep, it was not good. I tried to take nausea medicine, couldn’t keep it down. Tried to drink a little water and nothing would stay down! Finally about 6 am, my mom called the office and they told us to come over around 9am to get checked out.

Thursday 1/10/13: So first thing, my stomach is cramping terribly. We got to the doctor’s office and they have us wait on one of the follow-up doctors, Dr. So. Nice guy! He had me come and do another fluoroscopy exam and sure enough… liquid would sit at the top of my stomach then slowly start to trickle down in to my stomach. So before you start worrying, it was not the surgery per say. It was me. Years before I had been diagnosed with GERD. Since I had chronic acid reflux, it caused scar tissue in my stomach. The surgery only inflamed it and was causing an obsturction. Needless to say, I was a bit scared but Dr. Martinez (one of the surgeons that works with Dr. Ortiz) came and talked to me. He explained that it happens to about 1/10 patients so I didn’t feel as bad, just bad for my mom because we were suppose to leave that day to come back home. When she called the airlines, my flight insurance was void because I was seeking medical care (which I think is BS) and they were going to charge us an arm and leg to change our flight. We ended up changing our flight to Monday but not without a lot of trouble from Frontier Airlines. Needless to say, I may never fly with them again. I was only in the clinic for 5 hours and they pumped me full of vitamins, steroids, and fluid. Needless to say, I walked right out of there and we heading back to the hotel to check back in since Dr. So wanted us to come back for a check up on Friday and Saturday morning since we were staying longer.

Friday and beyond: Lots of walking! LOTS! I walked about 2 miles every day while in Tijuana and I could already feel the difference in my clothes. We went back to San Diego on Sunday since I’ve never been to CA and stayed the night right in the Bay. It was BEAUTIFUL! I’ll post pictures, promise! On Monday, we heading back to the airport and boarded our flight back home. This is where I started receiving my proof. Something I didn’t mention on my flight to Mexico was the minor moment of hysteria I had on the plane leaving St. Louis. When you’re overweight, you never really know how much till you are placed in a confined place. My confined place was the seat belts. Never in my life did I think I would need a seat belt extender, but I did. Just writing this now makes me a little teary eyed about the reality of it. I was short 3 inches when I tried to buckle my seat belt. When we were leaving the hotel that Monday morning to head home I told my mom I’d be the happiest girl alive if I didn’t need one. And guess what? I didn’t! My first proof that the surgery was already making its mark on my life. At that point, I wish I could have had a glass of champagne to celebrate but Dr. Ortiz’s voice rang clear “DON’T drink your calories” so I settled with some Bloody Mary Mix instead 🙂

Friday 1/18/13: My First Post Op Weigh Day! Soooooo, I stepped on my handy-dandy scale and guess what? I stepped on it three more times to make sure my eyes weren’t deceiving me! I had dropped 12 lbs! I know! I couldn’t believe me eyes either! Let’s all do a happy dance!

Friday 1/25/13: Another 7lbs gone!!!!!!!

And as of today, I’ve lost a total of 39 lbs since Dec 24th (my two weeks pre-op). My goal at this point is to be down 50lbs by my 1 month on Feb 8th. Easy! I started soft foods as well and well that hasn’t been going so great just yet. I think today will be another liquids day because I feel too full. I had a scrambled egg for breakfast and felt pretty good after that. When I had lunch, I had some half a fillet of grilled fish and two bites of potatoes and I felt miserable. In fact, I’ve felt miserable for the last 13 hours. So now I’m just trying to drink plenty of fluids to try to push it through. It’s weird how us banana bellies have to change our life in such ways. I’m amazed at the will power I have gained to make sure I stick with this and become something better of myself. I think in some ways, I can understand what an addict goes through. I can notice people eating a mile away and they are always eating my favorite food right at that moment. Then I think, they are eating the favorite food of my fat former self, not the one who’s conquering the battle of the bulge!